Sunday, May 8, 2011

Happy Mother's Day...Day 65

First of all, Happy Mother's Day to all the mother's I know.  My mother is a very special person, she is not only my mother, but my therapist, pastor, editor, and best friend!  We have a very unique relationship, and I am so thankful for that.  We talk almost every day, and some days more than once.  She has really been supporting me on this journey, asking me when I'm home what would be good for me to eat so she can have it around, and making sure that I have time to run.  She is a wonderful and amazing woman!

All right enough with the mushy stuff!  Recently I've been having a hard time, it seems that there is just one thing after another piling up on me, and it's taken a pretty big toll on me not only physically, but emotionally as well.  As I said in my last post, my computer crashed...during finals week...and the hard drive seems to be gone until I can find someone skilled enough to attempt to save anything off it.  Needless to say this caused A LOT of stress this past week.  On top of that I had the stomach flu, which knocked me out basically Monday and Tuesday.  I also still had all the stresses and worries I've had for some time weighing me down, you know where am I going to live when my lease expires, am I going to be able to find a job, how am I going to pay my bills the next few months if they're not going to give me student loans for summer, how am I going to pay for my prescriptions when I don't have health insurance and it costs $150 a month, and all the friend and family drama too!  Needless to say this week has been one I would rather not repeat anytime soon!

Because my computer died I had to ask for an extension from my professors to complete my final projects in the classes.  So now finals week and that stress continue on for me even longer, as people in town begin moving out of town, and going on summer trips.  I just have to keep reminding myself that if I can just get this stuff done I'll only have one more class left, and they'll give me that degree that I have paid a lot of money, and gone into a lot of debt to get. Right now it's just a little hard to see a light at the end of the tunnel when I have to begin my research over again from scratch.

So my weight loss has been put on a back burner and I hate that.  I only ran a few days this week.  I also couldn't run as far as I wanted since I was tiring so easily after recovering from the flu.  Today was really the first day I could get back to "normal".  My eating habits also haven't been as great...two pizza's in less then 3 weeks.  Although I tried to get "healthier" pizza's, it's still not the best stuff for me and I need to nip that in the bud quickly.  Now that I have my computer again I can plan a shopping trip this week and get some good food for me in the house.  I have also decided that the 5K I had wanted to run on the 14th, I need to not do.  I'm not ready yet, although I can do a 5K on the elliptical daily, on pavement it's a whole other ball game.  Not to mention that this past week I have missed out on training for it.  I'm going to try for another soon, but I think this is the best choice right now.  So my big month of losing is not off to a good beginning.  I'm going to push through it though, I am still as motivated as ever to have this work for me.  There has been a change in my life for the better, and I can't just throw the past two months worth of work out the window because of a few bad days.  I've accomplished so much already that I never thought I would be able to do, and I do feel great.  While running today I realized that I accomplished one of the first goals I set when I began, and I didn't even realize it.

When I set the goal of getting into a routine I thought that would mean that I would wake up and go to sleep at the same time, eat at the same time, and do my daily activities at the same time every day.  I realized today that I have been in a routine, it just wasn't what I had originally thought a routine would be.  I wake up and go to sleep at around the same time every night, give or take an hour.  I work out around the same time every day, give or take an hour.  I eat around the same time every day, give or take an hour.  I also do my daily activities such as blogging, homework, and crafts around the same time every day, give or take an hour.  I have a routine, and although what I had originally thought of I think would be more of a schedule I don't need that right now.  I have no where I need to be at a certain time, so why worry about that now.  A routine is going to help me set the framework for my schedule when I need one.  So I'd say I accomplished a goal, and didn't even realize it.  When I have a job, I'll work on a schedule, but for now I'm going to keep my routine.

Please send good vibes my way this week as I try to finish my semester out with a bang, and great grades!  =)

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