I recently was speaking with a friend who was a bit upset. She was distraught over the fact that on the camping trip she was on, she was the only one who didn't have a significant other to cuddle with around the fire. I totally know how she felt.
A few years ago when I began grad school, many of my friends were getting married. I was happy for my friends, but I admit the green eyed jealousy monster would show his ugly head every once and a while. There I was not only single, but never having been in a real relationship in my life. I felt like I something was wrong with me, I mean if a large portion of my friends were marrying around then, shouldn't I be too?! This green eyed monster has shown his head again recently as many of my friends have announced that they are pregnant, or recently just had a child. Seriously, I must have a disease that has yet to be discovered. That's the only logical reason that I'm not reaching these life milestones at the same time they are, right?!
The fact is though, it all depends on the way that we look at things. When I was upset over the fact I wasn't even in a relationship and my friends were getting married my mother pointed out to me that they might be getting married, but how many of them were headed off to grad school to pursue their dream? As many of my friends are having children, I keep reminding myself, how many of them have just picked up and moved across the country to follow their heart? The simple fact is that you have to look at things a different way sometimes. The same path isn't right for everyone. Just because my friends feel like getting married and having children is the right things for them, doesn't automatically make them the right things for me...especially at this point in my life.
It was also pointed out to me recently that maybe some of the struggles I'm still having in Colorado are a result of me losing my perspective of why I came here in the first place. I admit it, I became complacent. It became too hard to continue to pound the pavement for my perfect job. It would be too difficult to pack my things up and move to an apartment I like better. And it was too easy to go home and sit on my couch, than go out and socialize and make new friends. I had grand ideas of what life would be like when I moved here, and when they didn't happen immediately I gave up. They became too hard to see through.
Well I'm changing my perspective on Colorado. I'm going back to those visions I had, and I'm going to make them a reality. My one New Years resolution this year was to have a "Big Year", and I've let half the year pass without trying to make that happen. It's time I put words into actions, and make my big year happen! It's not going to be easy, and there may be some growing pains, but I'm going to make things happen for me! I'm tired of being an idle bystander in my own life, it's time to change the way I'm seeing things.
PS - I've been losing weight again. Not a ton of weight, but hey even a few pounds here and there is a good thing. Even though I don't really get out and exercise a whole bunch, I have massively changed my diet! A lot of fresh fruits and vegetables, and little to no processed foods. It's not a Diet, it's changing my diet, and I love the changes I'm seeing!! I promise to post about these changes soon! =)