So I am at home again. It's Easter week and I had planned on being at home anyways, but I had to make the journey a little earlier than expected because my sister got ill. Monday early morning her boyfriend took her to the hospital because she was having really bad pain in her lower chest/upper abdomen. After being admitted to the hospital because of how many health conditions she has, they discovered that she had gallstones and her gallbladder needed to be removed. So yesterday it came out! Today she was released from the hospital and is now at home resting.
Needless to say this whole ordeal has been very stressful for my entire family! My father told me while we were waiting for my sister to get out of surgery yesterday that this would have been one of the times that he would have reached for a ciggerette before he quit. Thinking about the commitment he made, and hearing him say that he still struggles with cravings made me realize that I have a long difficult road ahead, but I can do it, just like he did. I've already begun since in a stressful situation before I would have eaten, and I didn't. I will always crave the chocolate cake that the waiter offers the table, but I now realize that 1) I don't need it, and 2) I don't always want it. Yep, I'm eating a lot less than I used to. My parents and I went to dinner last night at Applebees, I had a 550 calorie meal, and I didn't finish it, I was full. The first night I arrived we ate at a local pizza spot, and I would have eaten half a pizza alone, I had two slices and was full. My body is changing. I'm learning to deal with cravings. I even resisted my fathers french fries last night at dinner! (huge deal!!!)
My sister's illness really made me want to lose this weight that much more. I told my mother that a few months ago I had similar pains to my sister. I didn't go to the hospital though because I don't have health insurance. I don't know for sure what my pain was, but I think I too may have had a gallstone attack. I don't want that again. I don't want to take six pills a day until I am well into my fifties, and maybe not even then. I want to be healthy, I want to be happy, I want to change...and I'm the only person that can make those things happen. Although I wish that this hadn't happened to my sister, I'm glad that her experience has given me another push to keep going. I am seeing results, and although this has not been easy the best and most valuable things in life you have to work you.
Exercising down here is not as easy though. My family doesn't belong to any gyms so I can't go workout at a place like that, but since I want to do a 5K next month I figured learning to run on pavement would be a good thing, so I've been running around their neighborhood...well it's been more walking than running. I mentioned in the beginning of all this that I have already had knee problems. My kneecaps floats, and I have excess cartilage in my knees that are prone to tear. For these reasons I have chosen to do a lot of my work on an elliptical rather than a treadmill or on pavement. Ellipticals are lower impact and place less stress on my knee. Well the pavement isn't kind to my knees and because of this the first day I was here and tried to run, I quickly learned it would be more of a fast walk. Still good for me, just more diffiult to do. I don't have times or distances to post, because I don't know how far I went and how long it took me to get there. I'll figure all that once my joints get more used to moving on pavement. I'm also looking at whether or not a brace would help my really bad knee.
I'm at home till Tuesday when I travel back to Indiana for a few more weeks of school. I'm so close now to the end of my graduate career I an taste it! As long as I'm here I hope to stay close to on plan with food and exercise as possible, and when I get home if I don't see a gain on the scale I've done well!
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