So in my family we have never really been that big into pictures. With the exception of Christmas morning, the camera rarely left the bag. I became the official "cheeser" of the family. You know the person who every time they see a camera goes "cheese" and doesn't mind their picture being taken. Then something changed, around high school I began not wanting to have my picture taken. Now there were a few exceptions, well posed pictures with friends, professional pictures such as senior portraits, and pictures that when I saw I said they were a "good angle" of me and the individual could keep. Although I cannot pinpoint an exact moment that I began being self conscious about myself, I think it was sometime in high school when I also began not wanting to have my picture taken.
I love photography. This obsession began in high school and since I couldn't get my family to pose for me, I often asked friends, or took landscape/still life photos. I went from loving to be in front of the camera, to wanting to hide behind it. I like to think of myself as a good photographer, but I am just a hobbyist. When I have children, nieces, or nephews I will take SOOOOOOOO many pictures of them! Since I scrapbook (one of many hobbies, check out my other blog to see what all I do Liza's Creative Corner) pictures are really important. Looking back I wish that I hadn't shied away from having my picture taken so much, I feel as if there is a big gap in my life, because I can't remember things, and there are no photos to help me remember. I also think that maybe I wouldn't have as low self-esteem if I had allowed some of those "bad" pictures to be around, rather than taking them so seriously. I can't take back time though, what's done is done, I can only change the here and now. I'm still self-conscious about pictures, I even bashed myself on this blog about the pictures my friend Natasha from GoodEye Photography Inc. took last month. So I am going to stop this right now, so what if I don't think that I look good in a picture, so what if my hair isn't done, or I'm making a funny face, or if I'm sweaty and in workout clothes...I'm me and people know that. I just hope that I can ignore that little voice inside me telling me "that's a bad picture of me", "I shouldn't share that". So in honor of allowing myself to show off my "bad" side, lol, here are a few pictures from my past. (I've always struggled with my weight and these pictures really show that too.) I hope you enjoy them. =)