Thursday, March 22, 2012

"You Sound/Look Happier"

So it's been a year since I began this journey on March 5, 2011.  All this began because I wanted to make a positive change in my life.  At first that meant losing weight, and although that is still a big focus of mine, it has morphed into so much more than that.  Somewhere along the way I figured out that losing weight wasn't what was going to make me happy, but the changes I was making were what was going to make me happy.  A year later I find myself thirty pounds lighter, living in my dream location, and in general so much happier than I ever could have imagined being for this stage in my life. =)

Totally by coincidence almost a year to the day from beginning this path I picked up and drove across the country to Denver, Colorado without much of a plan.  I knew that employers were interested in me, but not being local was posing a big problem.  I had researched places to live, but had no idea who had availability, and who was in my price range.  I just knew that deep down that this is the place I was meant to be.  To many this sounded weird, but I couldn't explain it, it just felt right.  I loaded up my car, my cat, and brought my dad along for the ride and set out on the 18 hour trip.  For all the fear about coming out here I've had over the past few months, ever since I set out I just knew that things were going to work out.   Yes there have been some speed bumps, $2000 worth of car repairs before I could leave, and PODS wanting almost $4000 to bring me my stuff and finding a cheaper option, have been a few worth noting.  Every time I begin to be discouraged by these things though someone reminds me that this is where I should be.  My favorite was when I was whining about my car and how I didn't understand that if God wanted me here so bad why was he making it so difficult to get here.  A good friend commented back, "God never said it would be easy, just worth it."  The roads have never been easy, but I know deep down that they are worth it.

I still don't have a job yet, and if I don't get a professional job by the end of the month I'm going to go see if one of the bajillion Starbucks around here are hiring.  I still don't have my things yet, I'm sleeping on an air mattress on the floor and living on anything that can be cooked in a toaster oven since I don't have a pot to cook in.  I'm still trying to find the cost effective way of getting my things here since I think PODS quote is quite high to just get my things here from Indianapolis.  I don't know what the plan is for me out here, but I do know that people are noticing a change in me more than I could have ever imagined, even if I don't know what is going to happen.

I posted a picture my dad took of me when we visited the Denver Botanic Gardens on Facebook.  Almost immediately I got responses back that I "looked" happier already.  I talked to a good friend on the phone the other night that I hadn't spoken to since I moved, and he just kept saying that I "sounded" happier.  When talking to another friend and telling her I found people's responses funny, she told me that it was true, she noticed it too.  I looked and sounded happier.  I've been struggling with this for a few days now.  How does a person look and sound happier?  That made little sense to my very analytical brain.  I think I've figured it out though, everything about you changes when you change the way you think.  Silly as it sounds, it's the power of positive thinking.

I am happier, and for the first time in a very long time I feel like I am doing what I'm supposed to be doing, even if I don't have the details of that yet.  A year after beginning this path it's changed a bit, my happiness is not longer dependent on a scale, or pants's dependent on how I feel about myself and the world around me!  The journey may have changed a bit along the way, but this was always the journey that it was meant to be, finding myself and loving that person for who they are!  I leave you with two things.  First another goal crossed off, I moved to Colorado even before the official start of Spring!  Second a quote that I have grown to love, and after following it I love it even more!  "Listen to your heart, because even though it's on your left it's always right."  <3 =)

1 comment:

  1. Having just read this to Grandma - she says "bless her heart." God be with you - we all send our love, Aunt Jayne