I don't think that there is a person out there that has gone through a big move that wouldn't agree with me, moving just plain stinks! Packing everything up, coordinating moving trucks and movers, changing your address, closing accounts, and cleaning take up enough time to be a full time job. It stinks, it's stressful, and inevitability something goes wrong. For me what has gone wrong has been my routine, I basically don't have one right now.
I admit it I don't remember the last time I ran, and in an effort to clean out my fridge and freezer I also haven't been eating well. Even though I said I wasn't going to weigh myself till I was through this most stressful time, I did it anyways out of curiosity. I have gained weight, which really isn't all that surprising. It's only a pound and a half which I think is rather good considering I was expecting a lot more. The fact is that I knew this was going to happen. I'm in that major life move right now. I don't know where I'm going, or what I'm doing, and that's rather scary. By the end of the week I will in essence be homeless. My belongings will be placed in storage, I'll be going to my parents home, and I'll take some time to travel to several cities across the country that I feel drawn too. I figure I'm young, and I don't really have to stay in this area unless I choose to so why not go somewhere new. I hope to know where I'm going, and have a new job by the end of the year, but right now it's difficult to think positively. I feel like I am in Robert Frost's poem "The Road Not Taken", looking at the paths trying to figure out which I'm suppose to travel.
Even though I know that I won't be remaining there, I really don't want to move back in with my parents. I love them, and I'm grateful for everything that they have done for me throughout the years, but I'm afraid that living with them again will mean a backslide in the progress that I have made these past months. I won't have as much control over what I eat, and working out will not be as convenient as going across the street to the amenities center gym. Not to mention that when I'm traveling I'll be eating out, and sitting in a car for days. There is no doubt that maintaining is going to be hard in the next few months. I know that I can do it, but I also know that it's going to be hard to keep my spirits up. A lot of things are going to be different than what I have been doing and it's almost like beginning from scratch.
On the up side, I'm learning. This is good for me, because there will always be curve balls in life and we all have to learn how to adapt and deal with them. I have to admit that I wasn't quite ready for such a large curve ball, but there is a reason for it, I truly believe that there is a bigger plan I just haven't gotten the whole picture yet. As annoying as that is for a obsessive compulsive control freak like me, sometimes we have to be left in the dark for a little while.
So I promise to keep everyone updated as much as possible. For the next few months I'm going to be focusing on loving myself and finding my way, and the weight loss may take a bit of a back seat. If there is one thing that I have learned through this journey so far though it's that life often has a domino effect and when parts begin to change others follow. So maybe when I find out where I'm supposed to be going, more parts of this journey, like weight loss, will follow suit. One thing is certain though, although moving stinks, and is stressful, it is the closing of a chapter of my life and the beginning of another and that's kind of cool. =)
The Road Not Taken
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth.
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same.
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.