I know, I've been absent for a while. I really am sorry about that, but there have been several factors that have taken me away from this blog. It's time for me to step up though and began making "me" a priority again though.
I've been sick, I know what else is new, but this month I have been on antibiotics twice for two different ear infections. Now I know that ear infections are not that big of a deal, and your over all health isn't going to really be a factor of whether or not you get one or not. I know though that if I was taking better care of myself I would be getting better faster. You see I haven't been eating all that great, and I barely exercise anymore. I've become so focused on money that I can't think about doing anything else.
I'm still unemployed. This is the most frustrating thing for me right now, the fact that my savings is gone, and in almost six months of living here I have been unable to find work of any kind. Now I know many of you are saying I'm being to picky, I could get a job at Walmart if I really needed a job that badly. Well my response to that is, no I can't...I tried...they turned me down, apparently they won't hire just anyone. As a matter of fact every minimum wage job that I have applied for I either hear nothing back on, or get denied. The most common question these jobs ask when they do talk to me, "You have degrees, why do you want to work here?" I figure the fact that I have an education is actually hurting me in these cases. In more professional positions I think the fact that I don't have experience is hurting me. So I'm stuck, I'm not able to work for the "anybody" jobs, and for the ones I actually might be able to live off of. This means my only source of income has been my craft projects and my small business, Handmade Heart. Don't get me wrong, I love making these things, and the fact that people want them is even more exciting to me, but it's not liveable money, I can't even buy a hamburger with the amount of take-away money I make off of them once I pay for materials. Something has to give with this soon, I don't know what else I'm supposed to do.
I joked with my mother that I needed a vacation. Some of you might wonder why, I mean I'm not "doing" anything, so why would I need a vacation? Well the fact is that I need to get into a different mindset. I've been so upset over my financial situation, job situation, social situation, romantic situation, emotional situation, and probably any other type of situation you could think of that I need to find some peace. I see a lot of the same walls in my apartment all the time. I talk to a lot of the same people all the time. Not to mention that I've begun talking to my cat...a lot...and this is not healthy! I fear that a lot of the time when I do get job interviews that I might be unintentionally self-sabotaging my chances. So since going to the beach, or Vegas, isn't really an option right now, does anyone have any "staycation" ideas that might help me chill out and clear my mind?
I need to find "me" again. I had done so well last year at this time with finding happiness, health, and wellness, and I need to get back to that place again. Although I fear that it still might be a little difficult at times, I'm going to try and get back into this again. Working out, going out and having fun, being independent, and just finding myself again in general. You all know that I'm going to take you along for the ride, so get ready because I'm the only one that can change my life, and I'm going to do it again! =)
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